Moving Sale, Fish, Free or Best Offer.

Beyond the physical and mental toll of actually moving your stuff, do you know what the worst part of moving is for me?  Moving a tank of fish.  We’ve contemplated getting rid of them many times; either giving them away to the local Chinese restaurant or dumping them into a Koi pond not far from where we live.  There are a few other options I’ve contemplated,  but , of course, would never broach with my wife.

We’ve had these damn things for over 15 years.  They were originally a present to my son when he was a toddler.  They were feeder fish, about .25 cents apiece.  They are now as big as kraken.  When they’re hungry, they bring themselves to the top of the tank and stick their heads above water.  My wife can feed them individually.  If I try to do this, they swallow my arm, up to the elbow.  The cats won’t go near them for fear of being gulped whole.   

We’ve had to move them a few times in the past and it’s a bitch, yet we’ll keep them.  For now.

Zen and the Ultimate Ipod Collection

Joni Mitchell – Hits

The album title is a (probably deliberate) misnomer.   Joni Mitchell wasn’t a hit maker.  That said, she had a string of damned fine albums in the early seventies with Court and Spark being a personal favorite.  The problem with Joni is that starting in the late seventies she started following her own personal muse and recorded some generally hard-to-listen to albums (Mingus, Don Juan’s Reckless Daughter).  Although some of this stuff is brilliant, she alienated a lot of her fan base.  Still, this album is a nice overview, but she was a true innovater and better served by a listen to her albums.

Marshall Tucker Band – Millenium Collection

After the Allman Brothers Band and Lynrd Skynyrd, these guys were probably the most interesting Country/Southern Rock band out there in the seventies.  They mixed jazz, swing, country, blues and rock into a nice listening experience.  They had a flute/sax player, which is cool.  Stuff like “This Ol’ Cowboy”, “Fire on the Mountain and their hit “Heard in a Love Song” still makes me smile when I hear them.  On the latter song, the contrast of gruff vocals and the lilting flute solos is smart.  This is a two album CD and is a lot from the band.  Plus it’s a European printing and lacks a lot of useful information (song writing credits, what album the songs came from, etc).  I paid two bucks for this and a dollar for Joni, so I’m not complaining too much.

French Wind Music/Beethoven Septet and Sextets/Mozart Flute, Clarinet, Horn Concertos

After symphonies and operas, chamber music is probably the poor stepchild in classical music.  It’s not a major draw in terms of money (unfortunately, the same can be probably said for all classical music).  There are some lovely, well-played pieces on all of these CD’s.  It’s a treasure trove of music you just want to relax with.  I picked up all of these at thrift stores for less than a couple bucks each.  The Mozart CD is a two-disc set.

As music continues to go digital, much good music can be had for a song (pun intended) and most CD acquisitions easily pass my IPod test (i.e at 1.29 a pop for most songs, if the CD has at least two or three good songs, you’re getting your money’s worth.  If you like classical, the sky’s the limit in turns of value.   As usual, thanks for reading.

The Ultimate Ipod Collection Part whatever.

All Over the World: The Very Best of Electric Light Orchestra - The Electric Light Orchestra has an interesting history.  The group was formed out of the remnants of The Move.  Jeff Lynne, the main mover and shaker in the group, had the idea of having a small string section become a permanent part of the group.  The highpoint of this idea were the two albums, On The Third Day (which borrowed heavily from Edvard Grieg) and Eldorado:  A Symphony (the album with the Wizard of Oz cover).   Both albums were interesting, but slight, attempts to meld classical and rock. 

Lynne became increasingly bored with the concept and eventually kicked the string section to the curb.  At one point, the group got into trouble for having backing tracks playing on tape during their live show (for the Out of The Blue tour).  Lynne went as far as some reprobate rock artists of the late 1970’s and added disco (Gah!) rhythms to some tracks.  It got worse.  ELO’s music was a focal point on the Xanadu soundtrack.  Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly, roller skates.   Jeff Lynne barely redeemed himself as (a lesser) part of The Traveling Wilburys.

As far as this album goes, I wanted a representative collection that included “All Over the World” if only because it was featured at the end of the movie “Paul”.  Unfortunately, it also has a ton of stuff from Out of the Blue on.  Ole ELO is better, if you can find it.  No Disco. No Crap.

More Music Ramblings or How to Assemble the Ultimate I Pod Collection

Here’s a sampling of the latest treasure trove of CD’s that I’ve unearthed at thrift stores and yard sales.  If you want to fill your IPod or MP3 player cheaply, there is no better way.  I’ve graduated to my son’s old IPod because at 800 songs I maxed out the MP3 player.  Anyway here’s another list of recommendations and caveats.

Billy Joel - Greatest Hits Volume One and Two – Why name the damn thing 1 and 2?  Couldn’t some enterprising exec at Columbia Records just issue them separately and increase profits?  Or just name the damn thing Volume I.  I don’t consider Mr. Joel’s music to be “rock” music.  First of all, after Jerry Lee Lewis, name a true rock star that just plays the piano.  His attempt to inject his music with a little punk energy in his album Glass Houses was as laughable as Linda Ronstadt covering Elvis Costello songs.  (I believe Mr. Costello issued some sort of cease and desist order to Ms. Ronstadt about future songs.)  That said there’s plenty to like here (Uptown Girl, The Longest Time) as well as plenty to avoid (the overwrought Goodnight Saigon, the awful Piano Man, The Stranger, etc.).  If Tin Pan Alley still existed, Mr. Joel would be king, but again that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

At least he was married to Christie Brinkley.

The Raspberries – Capitol Collectors Series – The Raspberries, led by Julliard grad Eric Carmen, were a prime progenitor of what is know n as “Power pop”, melodic pop songs with a little oomph behind them.  Critics have given them there due, but they never really got beyond cult status with the fans.  They had a few singles crack the top forty, most notably, Go All the Way, Overnight Sensation and I Wanna Be With You.  Mr. Carmen had a knack for writing (and stealing - see Rachmaninov) great melodies and being part of a group kept his sappy instincts, for the most part, in check.  Check out his first album for the mawk unchecked.  The Raspberries, however, are worth checking into.

He's wondering where his career went.

The Kinks – The Ultimate Collection – The Kinks are one of my all time favorite bands and they released a string of great albums in the sixties starting with Face to Face and arguably ending with Muswell Hillbillies that few bands can rival.  This collection collects most of the best songs from their entire career; however, for true Kink cultist there are some omissions.  There’s nothing from the aforementioned Muswell Hillbillies and only two songs from their entire RCA catalogue.  This isn’t a bad thing because a lot of the RCA stuff was made up of terrible theatrical concept albums that probably had to be seen performed to be truly appreciated (or not).  Some of the memorable stuff from their early Arista albums are also left off (no Low Budget, Juke Box Music, Sleepwalker, Misfits).  This is still a fantastic collection and should be a gateway to their late sixties albums (The Village Green Preservation Society and Something Else) and the rest of their music.  Oh, and Waterloo Sunset is the best pop song of all time.

Phenomenal Cats!

100 Hits of The 50’s – I got this with about 20 other CDs for 10 bucks.  Go me.

Most people think of music of the 1950’s and can’t get beyond Elvis Presley.  This 4 CD collection to some extent sets the record straight.  You have pre-Elvis music like The Weavers, Hank Snow, Hank Williams, Nat King Cole, Lefty Frizell, some songs from movies, Bing Crosby duetting with everyone and their mother and Rosemary Clooney.  The Elvis era stuff includes the Coasters, Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, Duane Eddy, Little Richard and Carl Perkins. No Elvis, Chuck Berry, Ray Charles, or Buddy Holly.  I guess the record label didn’t have access to these performers.  It’s obviously a more pop oriented collection and provides a decent overview of the decade.  And you can cherry pick the best songs.

David Bowie came later.

Caddyshack

One of the places I worked growing up was at a golf course.  I worked at a snack stand, at first, substituting for a guy who eventually went to medical school.  When the job became my own, I was happy because it combined my hatred for anyone who was rich, my then socialist tendencies and a desire to sit around for most of the day and do nothing and get paid for it.  You also got to drink all the Gatorade you could and eat all the peanut butter crackers you could stand.

There were two golf courses, the East and the West.  The east course was the prime course; the west was where the pikers usually played and was considerably less traveled.  Before the start of the shift my buddy and I would decide who went where.  One advantage of the west being slower is that the lucky person got to bring the prized copy of Hustler magazine with him.  Nuff said.

Before I graduated to a permanent position at the snack stand, I tried my hand a caddying.  The money was good but the work was backbreaking and demeaning.  The caddies were divided into two categories:  the barely functional adult men and the kids.  My first day the caddy master had a little tutorial for all the new caddies.  It was me and two kids who barely came up to my waist.  One had a tassel of red hair, glasses and buck teeth and if his name wasn’t Poindexter, it ought to have been.  The second kid looked and acted like a miniature Leo Gorcey; someone you just wanted to smack silly.

I caddied twice, carrying two bags each time.  The first time my fellow caddy was Poindexter, the second it was one of the child/men.  I made a few mistakes (Walking on the green with the bags, shaking the bags when the golfer was teeing off, etc.). Afterwards the child/man said, not kindly, that maybe I should find another line of work.  Next week, I was out at the snack stand gleefully looking at his shocked face as I catered to his golfers, not sweating like a race horse carrying around two awkwardly heavy golf bags.  Take that child/man caddy.

I also worked in the clubhouse as well, as a busboy.  A host of famous people came through the golf course:  Jim Rice, Bob Hope, Otto Graham, Tom Seaver, etc.  One day stands out more than the others.  We had a trio of Cincinnati Reds players, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose and some guy whose name eludes me.  I want to say Paul Stanley, but I think he was in the rock group Kiss.  Anyway, the Reds were getting their heads handed to them by the home team and Paul Stanley had made two critical errors in left field the night before.

Mrs. Paul Stanley was also with them.  A charming and lovely woman.  Unfortunately, I was talking about her husband, using the nickname “Dr. Strangeglove” (cruelly bestowed on him by the local press).  She was in earshot, heard me and abruptly left.  Maybe in tears.  Mrs. Dr. Strangeglove, if you are reading this blog, I offer my sincerest apologies.

However, that was not the end of it.  I walked down to bar to get some ice and there were the three Reds players in repose.  I mentioned that they were having a rough time in town, to which Johnny Bench replied, “What do you know, you’re just a waiter”.  My brilliant reply was, “I’m not a waiter, I’m a busboy”.  As Johnny Bench glared at me and fumed, Pete Rose was furtively hiding behind the bar and giving odds to Paul Stanley about whether Johnny Bench was going to slug me.  I hightailed back to the dining room.   I have cursed Hall-of-Famer Johnny Bench for his arrogance ever since and he has gradually taken on the larger-than-life role of celebrity arch-nemesis.

Curse you, Johnny Bench!!

Hurricane Irene

If there is one thing you could point to about Marylanders, and this gets my goat, is the constant overreaction to life’s calamities.  We’re getting a half inch of snow?  Let’s drive down to the local supermarket, spend hundreds of dollars, in order to weather the possible day of inconvenience.

                Now Hurricane Irene was nothing to sneeze at, especially if you lived on the Eastern Shore of the state, that said, this weather brings out the crazies.  Try finding a battery bigger than a double AA.  Impossible!  Candles?  The only candles remaining had dubious scents, such as Lavender Cheesecake, Bronx Monkey House and Grandma’s Pot Roast.   The latter two smelled eerily similar.

                People descend like a swarm of locusts, picking up everything in its path.  The store shelves rapidly empty of everything. 

“Honey, isn’t that liver in the meat case.” 

“Yes, dear it is.”

Before I can run to it, an albino dwarf comes running over scoops it up, fiendishly laughs and with a huge hunchbacked Samoan running interference for him, scampers over to the cashier line, where he waits 45 minutes to pay for his prize.

Major weather and the Christmas holidays bring out the lunatics who don’t normally shop.  I was waiting to return some spoiled cheese.  The customer service person asks who is next in line.  A middle aged, spinsterish woman, with straight bangs and that off-kilter look in her eye says it is her.

I turn around and say, no it’s not, in fact, I was waiting here while you were still in the checkout line.  She’s still insistent.  The man that was in front me in line supports my claim.  I complete my transaction and she’s still at it.  I turn gaze into her off center eyes and say, again, that she’s wrong.  She’s says I’m weird.  That may be, I tell her, but I was still in line before you.  I quickly hurry away as she starts to short circuit like one of the Stepford Wives.

Buried Treasure

As the two followers of this blog (Guten Tag, Hans and Hi, Mom)are aware, I like yard sales and music.  Put those two together and I get to slowly add music to my MP3 player at low cost.  My son and I have also been scouring flea markets and thrift stores for bargains as well.  I’d like to share a few of the more interesting finds I’ve come across or re-discovered.

                Celtic Music – a lot of “ethnic” or culture-centric music leaves me cold.  Celtic flutes, singing and women have changed that.  Plus, my wife absolutely loves it.  So any CDs of this genre I pick up score points with the wife, which is always a bonus.

                MC5 – don’t know how to classify these guys, proto-punk, heavy metal, but listening to “Kick Out the Jams” again, makes my ears bleed.  Not a bad thing under the right circumstances.

                Some guy playing the pan flute – my son picked this out.  I gave it a listen.  He even does a version of Lionel Rithchie’s “Hello”, a song I wouldn’t listen to on a good day.  The pan flute is like the accordion, listening to a few measures is enough to switch to another CD.

                Sarah Brightman/Time to Say Goodbye  –  A classically trained voice that doesn’t come off as strident and overbearing like a lot of opera singers.  The first song on this CD is the same one that Will Ferrell did in “Stepbrothers”.   She does it better.

                Ravel’s Bolero – For those people who say classical music is stodgy and boring.  This piece is smokin’ hot.

                The Ultimate Barry Manilow – Hey, it was only two bucks, but, honestly, even my wife looked at me funny when I bought this one home.  Hey, I have fond memories of “Copacabana”.  I serenade my cats by inserting their names for Rico’s.  Moving on..

                Movie Soundtracks – Many movie soundtracks have a lot of good songs, including the good ones from groups who only had one or two.  Plus, they usually pass the ITunes test.  The I Tunes test:  A song generally costs .99 cents on I tunes.  If I’m paying $2 for a CD that has four good songs, it passes the ITunes test.  Some soundtracks like “The Big Chill” (oldies) or the Wedding Singer (some decent ‘80s stuff) are a couple that are worth picking up.

                Big Band – The older I get the more I can appreciate music from a bygone era.  Listen to Benny Goodman’s  “Sing, Sing, Sing” or Woody Herman’s “Woodchopper’s Ball” to really appreciate the genre.

                John Coltrane/Coltrane Plays the Blues – If I had to pick one Jazz album, this one just might be it.

                The Grateful Dead/Skeltons from the Closet – I have never been a fan of the Grateful Dead.  They have the worst harmonies ever and I just can’t see how others can be so passionate about them. That said, picking up a Greatest Hits package of an average group that passes the ITunes test is always great.