Yard Sales

Yard sales rock.  It’s been quite some time since I drove around to any, but my son and wife were eager to give it a shot.  There was a community sale near us so off we went.

                My son was specifically looking for old games, game systems and any cast off electronics.  I was looking for books or anything else of interest.  My wife was looking for chatchkas, cute stuff she could place around the house.

                My guileless son would find a bargain and say to the seller something like” Wow, $2, Game Stop is selling this for $20.”  I had to pull him aside and tell him that part of going to yard sales is either negotiating the seller down or at least keeping any inside knowledge that you feel is beneficial to yourself to yourself.  You don’t want to drive the price up or make anyone feel like an idiot for not getting some value for something they didn’t need anyway.

                My wife and I had to dissuade him several times from picking up old computer components and being too carried away with getting certain (to him) bargains.  He did end up purchasing a Polaroid land camera (good luck finding film), a computer monitor and a bunch of old Nintendo games.

                My wife got her chatchkas and a straw bed for the cats.  I picked up a few books for 10 cents apiece (including David McCullough’s John Adams biography!).  But the biggest find was coming across box of Magic the Gathering cards for a dollar (for those of you who don’t know what Magic is, it’s a collectable card game).  I briefly looked into the box and saw some old cards, including a few rare cards.  I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest.  A dollar!!

                Needless to say I could not wait to get home and peruse the box.   However, we had other errands to run and important stuff to do at home and it was difficult to contain my feelings of “instant gratification”.   I couldn’t imagine what treasures awaited in the box and was chomping at the bit to find out.  Finally, late at night, I looked at what was in the box.   A bunch of mana cards, tons of old core set cards, a significant amount of stuff from the “Ice Age” set and an autographed card.  Nothing earth shaking or extremely valuable, but a lot of fun stuff to add to my collection.  For a dollar, woo hoo!

                My family and I are going to try and make the yard sale excursions a weekly event.  Lord knows I like bargains (read: I’m cheap) and it’s time well spent with the family outdoors in the fresh air.

Sublimity

A list of some of the things I think are sublime.  I don’t include wife and son stuff because everything they do is most excellent.

1)      Eating two apples and a loaf of French bread in the Arenes de Lutece in Paris.  What was noteworthy was the fact I ordered it all by myself in French.  Without the nasty looks I usually got for mangling that language.

2)      Recently got an old MP3 player that my son bought at a yard sale for $5.  I realize I’m incredibly late to jump on to this technology.  But it’s cool, after shuffling, to hear Frank Sinatra, Hayden, Iggy Pop, the Beach Boys, Miles Davis and the Osmonds’ “One Bad Apple” back to back.

3)      Being able to see some of the greatest Shakespearean stage acting ever.  Glenda Jackson as Lady Macbeth (opposite Christoper Plummer and Len Cariou, NYC circa 1987(?) and Kenneth Branagh as Henry V in “84 in Stratford.  Goosebumps.

4)      Spending afternoons browsing in Foyles bookstore.

5)      Sleeping overnight at my grandparents when I was a kid.  My grandmother was a sweet woman and one of the best cooks ever.  My grandfather would be game for just about anything, including spending the afternoon playing the old Sports Illustrated baseball game.  The one with the spreadsheet teams and one black and two white die. 

6)      Reading comic books for the first time.  I believe they were both Marvel anthologies.  They included the Fantastic Four battling Namor for the first time and Spiderman traveling to Florida to fight the Lizard.  I’m still hooked.

7)      Listening to two albums by the Kinks, “Something Else” and “The Village Green Preservation Society” for the first time.

8)      Taking unplanned overnight road trips to the shore or Virginia Beach with my buddies.  Wish I still had that spontaneity.

9)      Visiting (and eventually living in) New York City.  This is a city that changed my life in incalculable ways.  Pulling into Penn Station I knew the city - and life - was rife with possibilities

10)   Sitting on the couch after a rough day, my cat will come behind me and start licking my hair.  I keep it short and I suppose it’s just licking the salt in my sweat.  There’s something oddly parental though in the way he does it.

The Next Generation

My son and his cousin are the same age.   It’s interesting to see the paths each are taking in their lives.  My son’s a musician; his cousin, an athlete, specifically a baseball player.

My son plays a variety of woodwind instruments.  He plays in an orchestra and a big band.  He plays well enough to have been taken under the wing of a couple musicians in the city symphony orchestra.  He does well enough in ensemble work, but sometimes gets frustrated when the first musician parts are given to others even though they have been playing longer and have more experience, though not necessarily the talent or drive he has.

He really excels in the small groups or combos and (considering his youth) has an uncanny talent for improvisation.  He’s also composes.  I think the struggle (if you call it that) is finding a middle ground for all this.  Every performer would like the opportunity to shine and be in the spotlight, but they also need to be a team player as well and work for the good of the piece.

My nephew is blossoming into a formidable pitcher.  In a game over the weekend, he was called into pitch because the starter was getting shelled unmercifully by the opposing team.  During his warm-ups, his pitchers were all over the place, high, in the dirt, wide to the left or right.  (If you forgive the arcane reference, it reminded me of the stories of Ryne Duren, a relief pitcher for the Yankees and Phillies from the “50’s.  He had bottle thick glasses and was also known to drink.  He would psych opposing batters by throwing his warm-up pitches at maximum velocity everywhere but over the plate until finally finding his control.)  Whether my nephew was doing this deliberately (he denies it), the first couple of batters approached the plate with a certain amount of trepidation.

My nephew got his team out of a bases-loaded jam and didn’t allow a hit for three innings.  He had some control issues that a good pitching coach should help fix, but at his age, he looks good.

As someone who had neither talent as an athlete or musician, it’s heartening to watch the next generation of kids nurture the gifts they do have.  From where I'm sitting, the future looks bright and interesting.

You're fired!

During my long employment history, I have only been fired twice.  One deserved, one undeserved.  Let’s talk about the one I had coming.

Back in the day, I used to be a teacher, generally working with adults to get their skills up to par to take their GED.  I needed money and decided to branch out.  I applied for a position at a local private school for boys.  It was an afternoon position and it fit in well with my schedule and the money was great.

I applied at the end of the school year, so they gave me small study groups, a class of six 3rd grade boys and an 8^th grade science class.  It went well, not perfectly, but I got through it.  They asked me to return the following year to teach a full fourth grade class.  I said sure, why not.  This was my first mistake.

On the first day of school, I was handed the teacher texts and a class roster of 35 ten year old boys.  Now, this is double the amount of students in the public schools I attended and three times the amount of adults I was used to teaching.

Ten year old boys can sniff out fear, weakness, and lack of experience like a trained Doberman.  My experience was the opposite of the one in “Kindergarten Cop”.  In the movie, it started out horribly, but Arnold got his magic ferret from his car and everything was hunky-dory from that point on.  Me, I could feel my authority and power slip away by the minute.  I didn’t have a ferret or a car.

By the end of the week, it was like the “Lord of the Flies”.  Piggy was gone and anarchy ruled.  I threatened to call parents.  I cajoled and pleaded.  I used humor.  I screamed and shouted.  My efforts became increasingly less effective as the week progressed.  Any advice I got from others was as effectively used as throwing a cup of water on a raging inferno. I was in a siege mentality, wanted to hang in there and get the job done, but the principal of the school finally put an end to the fiasco and fired me.  Bless him.

Today, the only children of school age I have taught have been my own.  At home.  Where the teacher to student ratio is decidedly in my favor.

Don't let the door hit you in the backside on your way out!

Superpowers

A cool question among the geekier amongst us is this:  If you could have any superpower what would it be?  Super-strength, flight, the ability to shoot lasers out of your eyes, etc. etc?

I’ve toyed with several.  A neat one would be the ability to freeze stuff.  Water, the air, drinks. Want that keg colder?  No problem.  Want to see the annoying fat guy in the next cubicle slip on his ass?  You got it.

How about invisibility?  The problem here is unless you develop some sort of invisible fabric, the most effective way of using your powers is when you are naked.  Weather becomes a factor and let’s not even go into the whole see-through digestive tract thing.  Yechh.

Telekenisis would be cool, but would probably require a lot of concentration.  Mentally raising the car to get underneath and change your oil and then suddenly distracted by a squirrel.  Not good, my friend.

Forget about telepathy.  The last thing I want to know is what other people think of me.

The power to heal is intriguing.  Not self-healing like Wolverine, but the ability to heal other people.  Cancer, heart disease, pain, wounds all can be healed by my touch.  Where would you go with this?  Set up shop someplace and charge money or just do it for free.  Become some sort of military weapon and heal soldiers in battle in an instant.  The quasi-religious implications are also fascinating.  To me, seeing someone in distress or pain and being able to heal them and give them back their lives is the reward.

My son has a unique condition and for awhile was in great pain.  Taking prescription pain medicine wasn’t enough (and we tried everything short of a morphine pump).  It wasn’t until he underwent an experimental procedure that he was pain free.  If at any point, I could unburden my son of his pain with a simple touch, I would have.  Super-power indeed?

Great fun at keg parties!